The Pitfalls of Pacifism

Cara at WhoKnew? has a great post on the dangers of appeasement while revisting a previous discussion on Stockholm Syndrome.

I recommend reading both posts, and giving it some thought.

Her posts resonate with me. As an anecdote, I also used to work in the healthcare and mental health fields.

I took care of a number of violently mentally ill patients, including one who was a convicted rapist and into animal mutilation. One fine day, thanks to a conglomeration of different business needs, I was left alone in the rec room with him.

He made a sexual remark, and I instantly confronted him about it. I told him that I knew all about his mental and legal history, and if he thought that he could intimidate me, he was sadly mistaken. I also told him that he was welcome to try and escalate, but it would see him back in court, and probably jailed. I looked him straight in the eye so he could see I wasn't kidding.

He backed down. After that, he was even respectful. Nevertheless, I never again allowed myself to be left alone with him, or any of the other anti-socials.

Ignoring his behavior, or even trying to empathize with him, could have gotten me hurt. He was known to make even cruder forays, the longer he was ignored. I set down clear boundaries, and maintained them.

On a grander, more complex scale, we have to do that with anyone who would harm us. A murderer, a rapist, a terrorist, has already psychically dehumanized his victims. Trying to treat such an animal with humanity only feeds their aggrandized sense of entitlement. Letting them feel superior only feeds their delusions, and enables them to further objectify the victim in their mind.

No, we have to set our boundaries and defend ourselves with enough violence to make sure that the assailant will never lift so much as a finger against us ever again.

posted by Linda on February 5, 2004 09:18 PM